Care

Anyways it’s raining outside, why don’t you draft that e-mail and then leave office “. A stern took from me and as my manager failed to return it, I took the helmet and started for home. As I stepped in fully drenched, visibly upset mom said ‘why are you so early ? !!’. Wife had one more example to add on how I shattered her dreams. Half an hour lecture, and when she stepped out of the bedroom, my daughter said ‘tomorrow you can take my raincoat. Nobody will scold you then’ and she hugged wrapping me as much she could with her tiny arms.

Essence

The nation woke up with the newspaper headlines few of which read :

‘Multi-billion business empire orphaned’

‘From rag to riches – the business magnet is part of history now’

‘Ex-Rajya Shaba MP and chankyan of business world passes away’

‘Economy weeps – so does a million hearts for…’

And his last words in the seven star hospital - “I miss her smile, but then, soon I can be with my mom”.

Time Pass

I watched, with crossed arms, the compartments of the metro train that passed by. I could notice,  school students fun and frolic in the little space that they had, few high profile uncles reading newspaper and few others bargaining with the vendors, hijra group teasing a teen, kids waving hands,  a mother trying to put her baby to sleep,  TTE negotiating terms with a youngster near the wash basin,  and then some teachers trying to control a group of some mentally challenged school kids, one of whom, sneaked out to give me a gentle smile.

O.N

A cold December dusk of 1972 :

‘And the mission is named ON – Operation Nagendra. We have to nab him even if that costs the life of all of us assembled here.’  He addressed the band of 8 policemen, all of them lend their sharp ears like obedient dogs ready to pounce on the prey. I being one among them. ‘Nagendra – the blood thirsty vampire, the most dreaded naxalite -  I have ever come across in my career spanning 26 years. He is a  former student of AIIMS. We failed in the ’70 encounter. He grew manifold ever since. He should not see any more peaceful sunrises in the forests of Sathyamangalam’. He said as he switched on the lights of the otherwise dark room. And I will leave it to Manjulal to come with the plan. I felt elated as I was chosen to lead the ON. At the dawn of the sleepless night, I came up with the plan. One of the most appreciated plan of the times – To set up a medical camp to know the pulse of the villagers and slowly win their confidence. The estimated days for ON were close to a month.

          We went as a team of 15 including doctors, nurses and fake attenders. The camp was setup in the interiors of the village guarded by the forest. There were initially inhibitions among the villagers. As days passed by, slowly we could coax some of the villagers to the camp. As the needles pierced into the veins, trust on us was injected more than the antibiotics. Gradually, we had the right to roam around anytime anywhere in the village. We kept the camp and our investigation moving further deep into the forest until we learned that we were only a river width and a dusk away from ON. Night fell and 8 of us surrounded his shed. I went in. Found a lady and a 4 year old boy sleeping on the floor. I told them that I wanted to meet Nagendra urgently. She told me that he was sleeping inside. Before she could react, I walked brisk and opened his room. He was writing down something in the dim light of a table lamp. Contrary to the picture I had imagined of him, he looked very simple. ‘The only other choice you have is to sacrifice your wife and kid along with you’ I said taking out my revolver. ‘Our men have surrounded this place. Better surrender peacefully’ I briefed him the situation He smiled back ‘Bloody revolution is not my game, my officer. Leave them free, I am at your mercy. ’ He said. I saw a fearless soldier in his eyes. He suddenly bent down and my fingers were stiff on the trigger. He took his red shawl that lay on the ground and smiled at my alertness. He flung it around his shoulders.. I felt relived. I looked around to pick up more evidence to decorate the crown that I would be wearing soon. His room looked more like a library than the workshop of a cold blooded beast. My eyes soon fell over a diary parted by a fountain pen.  I took the diary and placed it underneath my shirt. He stood there silently watching all my moves and smiling as ever. I clasped the diary tight from outside my shirt and gave him a piercing look. He said ‘yes, it has all my future plans written down’. A hushed laugh followed. He made me look like a fool pretending otherwise. As taught, when he came out of his room, he told his wife that we were friends and leaving together for the execution of next plan. He told her that he would not return soon. Stepping away from the script, he bent and kissed the forehead of the kid who was still in his deep sleep. Turned to me and said ‘lets not delay’. And we set off. I told him that the people around his shed will remain till I hand over him to the police in a day’s time. ‘Being the members of this task force, we are not accountable on the bullets that we carry to anybody.’ 

I oared the boat and he sat with folded hands observing. I began to get the flavor of accomplishment as we moved. ‘How much do I cost ?’ He asked. ‘A nations security’ I replied coldly. ‘OK, tell me what’s a nation?’ I covered up the lack of answer with a intimidating stare. The boat touched the bank and we stepped out. ‘Tell me sir, what’s a nation. We need not be aliens to each other. It would take at least a day  to get out of this forest. Let’s talk till then’ Tell me what’s a nation? He replied for his own question ‘Nation is sense of unity against a common enemy. If there are no enemies there are no nations. A liberal world that’s what I work for. Do you think Hitler really disliked Jews ? Never, he wanted his army to be united. He just chose Jews to be their common enemy.’  ‘How does killing innocent help achieve that ?’ I queried. He held my arm firm ‘Can you name one? I have killed but not the innocent’. ‘How can you take the law in your arms’ ? I couldn’t control being a policeman. ‘If law does not take you in its arms, you have to.’ He said in the vernacular, staring deep into my eyes. ‘Our women have weapons to safe guard them against the wild animals, most of which are two legged.’  We had a long walk. He continued with more of his thought provoking philosophies. Soon, the sunshine was on its peak and I felt too tired to walk. ‘Let’s rest’ I told him. ‘Think of the medals that you’d win on us reaching your destination. That will give you more power.’ Those words weakened me further. Ok Stay here. I will bring some water from the nearby pond. He went to fetch.  I was sure he would return as I knew he was more man than me. He returned with a big leaf turned to cone shape. It was at least a  liter full. I drank like a thirsty dog. He removed his false leg and sat next to me. As I stared, he said, your DGP gifted it to me, of course, in return for my original leg, in the ’70 encounter. I felt even more ashamed of myself, having employed 8 stout police men holding his wife and kid in gun point to nab the handicapped. He was found busy working on the wet leaf on which he brought the water as he talked. Silence intervened our conversation. ‘Let’s go. Your medal is waiting for you and am I longing to swing free in the air.’ He was totally fearless. As I prepared to stand, he handed over me, something that looked like a ball made out of the leaf and said, ‘give this to our son to play. He will love it.’ 

 ‘How do you know him?’ My heart thumped fast and loud.  ‘When you killed Mali, my men had plans to destroy you. But then, when I learned that you had a kid, we decided not to go ahead. He saved your life.’ He smiled again. It was more charismatic than dreaded now. The diary that you took has only my poems and thoughts. I wrote them for my son, so that he would realize that his father was not a naxalite when he grows up. Raise your kids to be a free thinker and not be puppet like you executing the orders of some mighty landlords in the pretext of patriotism’ He laughed out of helplessness.

The night fell. And we slept on a tree top. My conscience dint let me sleep. The dawn broke and I was hardly few furlongs from the destination. I realize that he is not dreaded, for he could have killed me long back. But if I let him free, I would be a traitor in the eyes of our fraternity. My conscience and myself fought for a long time and then as the lines of his incomplete poem read….

“Let not ink in the pen dry,

Let not the blood in the veins sleep,

Let not the undeserving live,

Let not the innocent be killed”